Computer freezes

Are bad for blog posting... where did that last one go. Guess I should hit save more often. Is it worth it? Unfortunately the wife is not ready to move to Brenham so I can drive a Blue Bell Ice Cream Truck. And I told her that it is good that she is here because she is preventing me from being self destructive with a long motorcycle trip to Alaska. It is keeping me here to find out what is next. Yesterday's post was something along the lines of did Jesus come to get people to worship him or did he come to gather His Flock to go to the Kingdom. We spend a lot of time worshiping him, but when he was here did he really want that. Surley crucifixtion was not the best desire, but what was he thinking when he was riding in on the colt? Most often when he healed someone the line was "Your faith has made you well"

Honor to the Lord, most definatly yes. But what about the Kingdom?

It's about the people

That was the word, the theme, the still small voice. What does it mean. Now I must go and seek an answer. I know this time. It is a time when God plays hide and seek. The easy answer is not to be found, but after a period of time it will become obvious. Do you not seek, depends on how much you like whale spit.

There is much to catch up on projects wise, but I must be still and listen. Daily seek. Know that God will point. The direction is already created by Him, I must find. And people wonder why geo catching is so much fun. God is the master geo catcher.

Wacky

It's getting wacky in the Kingdom of God. The interesting part to remember is what someone said at bible study last night. Birth/rebirth is hard. There is pain, There are squashed heads and gunk all over the place. But the end result of the process is something new and wonderful. Do we know what is at the other end of the birth canal that God is pushing us though? No, but the colors of the sky and greens of the grasses await us. It was a long drive on a windy road and a mile hike to get to this waterfall.... was it worth it. You betcha

How to balance the cloistered self...

Last night's experienc ewas great, but I do not think it is to be striven for as normal, because that would mean moving to a hermitage and doing nothing but navel gazing. Surely we do have a responsibility towards our fellow man to point the Way to would be Seekers. I do not think Christ wants us blissing out in a vacuum, but then again I do not think He begrudges my experience last night.

I do understand why monks go to hermitages. When in that state, it is easy to understand.

I read somewhere recently, don't remember where, that it is easy to get self absorbed into the bliss of spiritual connection. If that happens it is a form of hubris, and God corrects that right away. Good intentions can run a foul with ease, if the Spirit is not listened to.

Maybe that is why God sets it up so that we only get occasionally blissed out. Then, we have a lingering memory of direct connection, we have a reference point for hoping for Heaven, but we retain the responsibility of navigating this reeal world too.

Just thinking... Nobody could maintain the blissed out spiritual high 24 x 7. That sort of thing needs to be a special treat, like Tres Leches cake, or something.

What I Know Tonight...

Nights like tonight are rare for me. It is a special night. I feel God profoundly. I would like to share what I feel. I have never shared like this before. Thank you for honoring me with your consideration. I trust that the message is received as intended - i.e. as a testament to His Love and Mercy.

Tonight, I no longer Believe. I do not need to. Tonight, I Know. Belief becomes useless in the presence of knowing.

I shall stop seeking directions, north, south, east, or west. Up or down. I shall become the center of six directions. I will be the center of the universe that God pours His love into. He surrounds me on all sides. I am suspended within Him. I am a receptacle made for Him to fill. In the filling, I lose my identity and am transformed. My "self" is obliterated by His presence.

Turning inward is not a fixation on self. It is abandonment of self. It is the recognition of His Love flowing into me. Following the flow of His Love. It is the realization that I am what matters most to Him right now. In a real sense, I am all there is to Him right now.

Time stops. Trance sets in. Intellect is of no use. Thinking is a distraction. Logic cannot sequence stuff. Is it Bliss? Yes, and no. It has a Light component and a dark component. It is "the way things are". It is the Unity of Opposites.

It pulsates in waves of feeling and experience. Is it overwhelming? Yes. Totally. Is it pleasant? Intensely. Is it selfish? Yes, because there is nothing else right now. There is nothing but a daze of being "poured out" and "filled up" at the same time. It is calm and expansive. It is yet intense and localized. It is unity of polarities. I am a drop in the Ocean of Love that is Him. I retain my essence, yet I dissolve in Him. We mingle essences. I partake of Him. Yet, I am separate.

This is what Holy Communion should be, but never is.

It is comfort and mercy. It is also judgment and anger. Lots of paradoxes floating around. All are true, yet there is no fear in me.

It makes me cry silently. The only movement is my heart fluttering. My insides are jiggling jello. It is intense worship. It has no words. Verbal prayer would pollute it. It is just pure presence. It is surreal. I cover my eyes with my hand because I do not want to see anything of this realm. I avoid light of this world automatically. I seek "blindness". I want to look at the darkness in my hand.

I see myself at the periphery of my consciousness. I am looking inward from 360 degrees at the thing I call "me" - my body. I see my body from all angles at once. I realize that it is most definitely not "me". That physical me is just an illusion. It is not the focal point of His Love. The real me is diffuse and not time space bounded. I am looking in on my physical experience from the outside. I am outside where God is. I know I am eternal.

I see what I called "me". It is not pleasant to look at. That physical brain and body helped me find the eyes I see with tonight. I thank it. It suffered to purify me to the point of surrendering to tonight. I seek more suffering because it brings revelation and growth. I do not fear suffering any more. We behold "me" together. We trade half smiles of knowing - the illusion revealed. I am not Him, but I am much more like Him than anyone has ever had the courage to tell me. So, finally, He told me Himself.

Intuitive revelations bubble up from some other dimension. They almost seem as colors, or lights. They do not travel within my mind. Rather, they envelope it. They wrap around my mind. They travel within my essence, not my thought. Some colors or visions take on meaning. Some become pictures. Not logic, but deep rooted knowing. Thinking is not involved. It is like watching a movie. That is how I discovered that tonight I am supposed to be still and quiet. It was revealed to me.

I have not spoken for hours. It would be unholy to do so right now. Instead of speaking, my eyes puddle in response to the stuff arising within me. And I sit still. More experience than what I have now would be most overwhelming.

We seek out my dark side. I have no fear of it - I find it interesting in the way that a scientific specimen might be interesting. Probing it. Illuminating it. Smiling at all the black boxes inside me that contain thorns and glass shards. They do not hurt tonight. Tonight they are just data - one way to define an aspect of that illusory "me" I spoke of earlier. Tonight, I know they are not real. I get to choose what I fear. The divine aspect of me allows me that option.

So, tonight, I channel my courage away from Believing. I take my courage and pour it into Prayer. Not words, but mind to Mind silent communion with God. I Pray that He would destroy me. Cut me asunder, and put me in a purifying crucible, so that I do not have to leave this presence I feel tonight. Make me holy so I can stay... Right now, I want to be completely destroyed with His love. Everyone knows Love restores. Few know that it also destroys. I want to be consumed into oblivion. I want to not exist. I want to dissolve into Him.

Yet, I worship Him. It is not easy to explain. I do not want to be Him, yet I want "being" in Him. I see His essence in me, yet I know He is the totality and completion of the sparks of the divine nature I see within myself. He is definitely the Author of Life. And I am His creation.

I know Love tonight.

Tonight is about Elohim. YHWY if you want to call Him that. Not the Saviour God. Not the Holy Spirit 0 though I know all are at work. This is the Creative Essence of God. The Intention. The First Cause. The Almighty.

Of course, tomorrow, I will forget His grace, disregard His mercy, revolt against His wisdom, and throw away His pearls - I will rub myself in dung again and regard it as perfume. I'll pick my scabs and think them caresses. But right now, it does not matter, because, right now, tomorrow will never come.

I have tried to capture this feeling. I do not do it justice.

Praise to the Only Holy One on this night, and forevermore.

I do not want to go to Heaven (too soon)

When I say there is no future, I am not saying that a time we have not yet experienced will not ultimately arrive. Nor am I splitting hairs with semantics.

Maybe yearning for Heaven is not such a good thing, in some cases (not to diminish the greatness of Heaven one iota...)

If I believe that He Has The Whole World In His Hands, and that He Cares For Me, and that He Knows My Name, then I figure I need to trust that I am currently experiencing exactly what I need to experience in order to grow according to His Plan for me.

Why should I yearn to escape that? If I reject my suffering, and the corresponding chance for purification that suffering brings, then am I not sinning? Am I not resisting His Will for me? Am I not passing The Cup?

I, like Einstein, do not believe that God plays dice. He did not wind this universe up just so that he could watch it careen across men's lives wreaking havock and misfortune along the way.

There has to be a reason for the suffering. The Program says it is an unfortunate byproduct of Free Will. Puckey.

Instead, I think of suffering as the fire under the crucible. I think God intentionally and knowingly created it because of its special, and even perversely beautiful transformational and cathartic power. It is the counterpoint to the melody.

So, when I suffer, should I beg for Heaven to hurry towards me, or should I praise God for refining me?

I guess that depends on how bad it hurts. But I believe that with anything less than significant torture or severe hardship, clinging to Heaven is oftentimes a cop out. It easily becomes the centerpiece in a personal victim consciousness drama that is in no way holy or good. Heaven is a nice place to resolve to in the End, but it is not a good goal in this temporal plane for Seekers.

Am I getting way out of line here? This is really non-traditional...

Sometimes, I think the focus on Heaven is misplaced. It causes wasted growth opportunity in this life. Wasted opportunity for refinement by fire. Sorry if that is offensive, but Jesus knows exactly what I mean.

But then again, Jesus said lotsa stuff about Heaven. He told folks to look forward to it, etc. It is a hope, definitely, but is it the prime reason to experience God? If yes, then our desire for God is primarily selfish. Is that good? Is the teaching the same for Sheeple as Seekers?

I got myself wondering now.

Did Jesus ever call us to "Get Saved"?

As in the "OSAS" (once saved always saved) thing of the SBC? He definitely called us to avoid Hellfire, etc. But did he call you to a definite decision that was momentous, life defining, and a light switch sort of thing?

Or does He just do it like he did with the Samaritan woman and say "OK then, now that you know who I Am, just sin no more..."

No begging was required.

Why? Cause she knew he was Messiah. Nobody had to tell her the Good News. She did not need The Gospel. She was not struggling over the uselessness of her life (OSAS usually has that guilt component). She was just getting water. It was a normal day until she found herself in the presence of holiness. She just needed the willingness to experience the presence of Jesus to know what was, and what was right, and to transform her life.

One might wonder if the woman even made a choice at all. If she even had a choice. Could she possibly willingly encounter Him and then reject Him? Lots of other persons rejected Him, but none of them that rejected Him ever had the intuitive revelation that He is Messiah. None were willing to go there or consider that. They somehow missed that datapoint. But all who were willing were transformed.

Jesus did not give a prescription for Salvation. He instead told her how to "be". He said "just stop". Simple as that. Just absorb the Truth of who I am, and "stop". Just "be free in the Truth". In this story, He does not call her to some dramatic "decision for Christ", rather, He encourages her to surrender to a new Truth she has just discovered.

Can such a reckoning come from a heart that is spastically heaving on an emotional level, heavy burdened with guilt? Is the contrite heart intended for the nOOb Christian, or one who has graduated from milk to meat?

I am not so sure we actually choose. I think we allow Truth to penetrate us. We become willing to receive. Then He does it all. not that I am a twisted off reformation theology guy who is totally immersed into predestination - but you gotta wonder if we really have choice.

Again, we see that Jesus' call to action is actually passive. It is behavior by omission. Not comission. Certain stuff just stops happening in your life when the Spirit gets into it.

Though, I admit that my family is getting a lot of good out of the Program, of late. The Program is great, and it has a function. It is primarily social. It is the social underpinning of fellowship. But does it cause individual growth? I do not know, maybe for some it does, but most of my growth comes at times just like this, when I am thinking about stuff, and receiving Holy Ghost Radio through intuition.

I do think that the Program is working well when it provides a social context for personal relationships to develop which encourage introspection. I just do not believe that one can grow without looking inwardly. To me, always staring at the cross on the altar, instead of turning inward, keeps me in this clinging, paranoid, agitated, guilty, fearful state wherein I cannot rest in my Saviour. I have to let go to rest. Not cling to.

So, no, I do not think Jesus ever intended the OSAS style of "Getting Saved". I think Jesus would say that unless you allow yourself to be transformed and "sin no more", through surrender, you are not going to grow. Nor will the Truth set you free - in a temporal sense. And the Kingdom is definitely at least somewhat concerned with freedom in the temporal plane.

Just my two measly piasters. Maybe it is obvious now why I did not write any scripture... :)

Blessings. Gimme some commentary. I wanna hook up with the Kingdom talk again.

forum is up

Ok I think we can shut this one down. I have the forum up. just sent you a login to live. It is kind of messy, but I will keep cleaning up and moving over.

texasteaparty.net

now all my ramblings will be in one place

Kelly

The Rulz

I would not mind at all if you "tightened up" or "user friendlied" The Rulz... You know how verbose I am. You are a much better succinct communicator. Would you please edit me?

Proposed rules for voyerus, posters, etc.

I say open it up to all. Let everyone post. You or I moderate posts. Allowing only those that are constructive to the discussion. No prosletyzing, or chang one another agendas allowed. Just Seeking. Let's write a list of participation rules. Make that prominent on the site. Open it up to others, and start acting like ticket agents.

Here is my proposed first draft of rules:

1.) Come here if you want to Seek. Do not come here if you want to change others.
2.) No personal names allowed. Only handles. No reference to any human being by name, except historical folks or reference writers, ets.
3.) Disagreements should not be encouraged, they should be somehow moderated so that the common themes are allowed to blossom, but the factions are squashed. We are here to coalesce around the common essences of truth Seekers of Christ find across all perspectives and traditions.
4.) No prosletyzing allowed. We should not try to convert our pagan friends. If one is a Seeker, then logical arguement is not going to appeal to them anyhow, so it is useless.
5.) The primary focus of this is discovery. That happens many ways, but the discovery cannot be limited by the traditional trump cards of The Program, i.e. sola scriptura (which this whole concept of direct revelation is contrary to anyhow). I do not want any posts like "I disagree cause the Bible says X and that settles it". A true Seeker will know that even the Bible, though sacred, reliable Word of God, is still word and language. That fact alone means that it is not "complete" truth. No trumps to stop lines of reason or discussion allowed.
6.) All who come here should be willing to challenge their faith and their tradition. If they cannot, they will be offended. They are not Seekers and do not belong here, at least not as contributors.
7.) If the writings in here offend, or anger, or make you want to call "heretic", then you are too closed minded to participate here. Everyone here should be secure enough with their Savior that they need not feel threatened by another who has a different perspective.
8.) No judging allowed. You can think what you want. But you are not allowed to verbally pass judgement on another.


That's like my list. I know it is verbose. If we do this, the traffic on this is goign to explode, cause it will get Buzzed up, etc. So we need rules about message tagging, etc... I think at first, we ought to allow only comments. If there is interest, we could actually set up a forum. Now, that would be a blast!

A couple things

When I refer to myself as "i Am" I am not trying to claim divinity. I am trying to underscore that there is "some aspect of divinity" in me. That "made in the image of God" thing is what I am talking about. I am also trying to underscore my "being". By doing that, I am attempting to say that in my true essence, I am not bound by form or time, just like the Great Almighty is not. What does He do? Nothing. He just IS. Does that make sense?

Also, the special use of capitals should communicate my inference that "i Am" is reminescent of the divine, but at best, still only a subset of the "I AM".

Finally, I had dinner with a seeker last night. He works at PKD. He is very interested in lots of these concepts. He talks at a level that makes me think he is seriously Seeking. I did tell him about our discussion of the Kingdom of God. I spoke of my opinions about it. I did not tell him any of your opinions about it, but I did identify you as a Seeker, not a Sheeple. He would be interested in being a voyeur in this. I am fine with absolutely anyone on this whole planet looking at this. Are you OK with him peeking in as a watcher? As for me, you can wholesale add all of Christendom without even telling me, I do not care.

I you do care, biggie. I did not tell him I would ask you or anything. I just told him that we had a communication. What brought it all up is that he was wanting to find more folks in the office with which to have spiritual discussions. I told him there are lotsa folks in the office who are interesed in this stuff. He said who? That is how your name came up.

Hope I did not do bad. If I did, please let me know, and I will not talk to anyone about it again. Regardless of how you feel on letting him look in, I felt the need to let you know I talked to someone about our Kingdom discussion.

Version of time

Let's see how this one comes out on paper. So I have never really been jazzed about singing "holy Holy Holy is the Lord" eternity. At some point I would like to go for a bike ride. So the thought from hanging out with the sheeple worshiping God came to me. If God has no concept of past or future and is always present (CS Lewis). Then when we die could we also become fully present.

How does this relate to the Kingdom.. there is no time in the kingdom. Just all present.

Revelation 21:22-24

²²I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. ²³The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. ²⁴The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it.

For the folks at bible study the concept that God introduced a time line only for man as a helper.

A Hypothesis

Stuff whose essence and function is defined by other stuff whose essence and function is antithetical to the kingdom cannot itself access the kingdom. It inherits its "unfitness" from that which defines its essence and purpose.

Ergo, lawyers cannot access the Kingdom.

What is the gene that when I look at a map of Colorado in the middle of a wilderness area say. "Yes that is where I want to be" Is it the maybe no one has put a foot there before, or the wanting be away from the busyness? Or be away from the responsibilities? Or is that what we are destine for and it is me wanting the next step? Maybe God is there... not here

URGENT CLARIFICATION ON PREVIOUS POST!

When I asked if the Second Coming could be an allegory of spiritual Seeker-ness, I most definitely was not intending impy that that might be all that the Second Coming is. In Matthew, Jesus clearly preaches the Apocalytic message and clearly speaks of a physical return. So I do not question that.

It would have been more proper to ask "Could the reality of the Second Coming also be an allegory of the transformation in power that happens as a Seeker has the epiphany of exactly who he is in Christ? i.e. when he begins to share ownership in the Kingdom.".

Needed to qualify, so as to not go completely heretical. I am not advocating a Jesus is not physically coming back position.

Whose Kingdom is it? (I mean for Seekers - we already know for Sheeple)

This post is very transparent. I hope I am safe here, asking these questions.

I qualify ALL of this by saying that I do not answer "affirmative" to every question I ask below. I am a Seeker. I claim few answers.

But, I have a lot of questions and I assume that my God can stand the scrutiny of a difficult question. So, I ask. This is the meat of the "Kindgom on Earth" issue. And it challenges me greatly to think about it.

When you look at Jesus' words by themselves, there is tremendous room for interpretation - furthermore, when we look at Jesus' words alone, much of the dogma of Program Christianity melts away. I am not saying that the dogma is not true. But I am saying that Jesus never said it.

Here goes.

Jesus does not lie, yet He said:

Luke 9:27 (New International Version)
27I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God."

So, someone in His audience actually saw the Kingdom.

Mark 9:1 (New International Version)

Mark 9
1And he said to them, "I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God come with power."

Furthermore, it is a powerful experience for the experiencer. Awesomely powerful, I am sure.

And finally (my favorite):

Matthew 16:28 (New International Version)
28I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom."

Whose Kingdom? The Son of Man's. Who is the Son of Man? Jesus of course. But, a special aspect of Jesus...

When Jesus speaks of himself as Son of Man, it is my understanding that he is referring to his humanity - his (perfect and sinless) human aspect. There is precedent for this assertion in treatment of the term in the Old Testament Hebrew literature, as well as other non-biblical Hebrew literature. The terms Son of Man, and sons of men, were well known to contemporaties of Jesus, and were always associated with the concept of "humanity" in a broad sense of the word.

So, if the Kingdom belongs to the Son of Man, and the Son of Man implies "humanity", then is it partly "humanity's" Kingdom too? If we are Redeemed, then our sin is no more. i.e. we should be on equal footing with Jesus from a sin perspective. So, original sin cannot be a reason that we don't own some Kingdom too.

Quite a lot hinges on the definition of Son of Man.

If Jesus did not want to share His authority and ownership of the Kingdom with humanity, then why did He not call himself Son of God? He could have.

Curiously, Jesus identifies with his (perfect, sinless) human aspect MUCH more often than his divine aspect. He constantly calls Himself Son of Man. Yet he never directly calls himself Son of God. Satan does, demons do, the Sanhedrin accuses Him of doing it. But, Jesus only acknowledges the fact after direct questioning by the Sanhedrin. And indirectly with the Samaritan woman. Jesus seems to downplay Son of God. He focuses on Son of Man. Of course, the post resurrection writings never talk about Son of Man, and always Son of God. But Jesus did the opposite. Why?

A lot depends on the definition of Son of Man.

So, let us assume that Son of Man is a deliberate attempt to identify with humanity. Does that mean that Jesus is not the son of God? No. It just means that when Jesus speaks of himself, He chooses to emphasize His humanity. He must have a reason for doing that.

I think it might be because he in encouraging us to see a little more "Logos" in ourselves. He wants us to see more of Him in ourselves. He wants God's Creative Will to flow through us. He is indirectly saying that God's Creative Will CAN flow through humans. Did He not say:

20Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

My point is not to challenge Jesus' position as the legitimate Son of God, just to point out that Jesus' primary concern was teaching us about how to live as Humans within the Kingdom - here and now. And to the extent that we cannot do that perfectly in the present, we always have Heaven to look forward to in the future. Is that not the Sermon on the Mount in a nutshell?

Sure, you can get some guidance on this when you look into the epistles, but Jesus himself leaves it pretty dog-gone loose. Why did He do that?

Is it now apparent why I value the Red Letters above the writings of Paul? Jesus preached personal experience. Paul made the abstractions of Jesus' parables tangible for Sheeple. Jesus challenged us to explore and partake of direct revelation. Paul gave a guidebook to those who cannot do what Jesus preached.

Furthermore (and maybe most challenging) doesn't the verse "...see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom" have definite Second Coming overtones? Is it possible that when Jesus spoke of His return, he was allegorically speaking of our entry into the Kingdom?

I believe that Redemption occurs when a choice for Grace is made. Participation in the Kingdom, with Spirit power, happens at a later date - and only after Seeking. This is basically the "Sanctification" or "Second Blessing" doctrine of the Nazarene denomination that I currently ascribe to.

I am having a hard time dealing with the implications of what this suggests. It seems to suggest that maybe we partake in the Kingdom in the same way that Jesus' human aspect partook of it??? Does it suggest co-ownership? Where does His Kingdom stop and our kingdom start? Is His Kingdom our kingdom?

Maybe these things are just Mysteries. These questions are the very reason I wanted Red Letters only. I know the answer when I look at the entire New Testament. But the Red Letters seem different to me. Much more "mystical", "experiential", and with more "direct revelation".

To me, the Epistles are logical and rational. The Gospels, especially the Red Letters, cannot be comprehended with rational thought. Only by intuition and revelation.

Sheeple do left brain. Seekers do right brain.

We did say that nothing was off limits in this discussion, didn't we?

Blessings :)

The Kingdom on Earth - Passive Surrender

Jesus spoke numerous parables describing what the Kingdom is like. It seems pretty logical to me, then, that when He gave instructions they would relate to the entry or access of that Kingdom.

Matthew 6
38"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' 39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

There are other similar references as well. Does Jesus literally mean to allow folks to attack us? No. Or else the Hebrews did a lot of sin when they fought with all the "-ites". No, He is illustrating that resistance and struggle do not allow us to experience our life as He wants us to experience it. And we can safely assume that He wants us in the Kingdom.

He is challenging us to allow an evil circumstance to transform us. Should we seek it? No But, should we avoid it? No. We use the whole of the experience of our life to manifest His will - the pleasant and the unpleasant, all rolled together.

Why? To allow us to refuse to engage. To allow us to stop, drop, and pasively receive the presence of the Kingdom - even when we are attacked. We receive Redemption in an act of Surrender. Why not receive freedom in this life through the same act? Seems fine to me. Seems scriptural, too - see below.

The physical realm is not relevant in the Grand Scheme of things. If you are hooked into the Spiritual realm (the Kingdom) the physical realm just happens. And regardless of what happens, it is all OK. It all has purpose. Even Hitler's extermination of the Jews. And He is telling us that struggling in this realm is counterproductive. (yet we do it constantly - I think Paul knew about this...)

If it is not the finale of the Grand Scheme, then why does what we do in this realm really matter at all? Because we can enter the Kingdom (to a greater or lesser degree) right now. Why is that important? Because it relieves suffering today. Being in the Kingdom and enduring (spiritual, not necessarily physical) suffering are mutually exclusive (plenty of scripture on that one).

We have Redemption. We will have the Kingdom of Heaven. But, we get to choose if we participate in the Kingdom on earth. And the only way to do it, is to:

Mark 8:34 (New International Version)
34Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

Matthew 10:38 (New International Version)
38and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

Luke 14:27
And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple

Clearly, Jesus wants us to carry a cross. Strange irony. He wants us to crucify ourselves. What? Yes, he means killing of the ego. What is that other than complete abandonment of all attachments? This abandonment makes the physical realm irrelevant, if we do it completely. How does one become utterly ambivalent to the point of not caring if folks beat you up? How does one kill his ego? How does one kill attachments to material forms?

Through passive, complete, Surrender.

So then, are we to sit around like jelly fish being passive? No, but when we ultimately Surrender, we become actively creative in accord with the Will of God, and that is by definition no longer a struggle. What we do is by being passive, we take ourselves out of the equation. Then He becomes active through us. We are stewards and vessels of His continuing creative Will.

Is Kingdom only accessible through Surrender?

As I think about this, my earlier assertion that Kingdom is what you do to access God, is wrong. By striving, we necessarily reinforce dualism. We necessarily express our desire. By being Spirit filled, is it not God's desire manifesting through us? Doesn't it then cease to be our desire and then become God's desire manifesting through us?

I do not know, interesting thought, though.

Kingdom is Unity. You cannot strive for Unity. You can just Surrender into it. But isn't surrender itself a verb? - no it is perfect passivity to let God move upon us. He elects us to surrender to Him.

You (the ego) must die first. Then, you can enter Kingdom. And when you mess it up, you do it all again. You die daily.

This is very difficult. To me, Kingdom is unity, but God is not unity. To me, Kingdom is unity of presence, not essence. Do not get me wrong. I am not claiming that when I am in the Kingdom, that I AM God. I am claiming however that I am united with His presence, and that communication happens more along the lines of direct revelation than language based instruction. It is essentially experiential.

When did it start? When did the theory start that the goal is to get a pile O money between now and 65 and then coast till death? Is this in line with the Kingdom?

Who started this? Is this how the rest of the world does it? Is this how God wants us to do it. What parallels are there between the pile O money we are trying to build and the Kingdom?

What about those that are not wanting to work for the pile, but are leaching onto the others pile?

Is money in any way tied to the Kingdom of God?

My head hurts

Condolences on your family's loss...

At times like this, I am glad the Kingdom is timeless and boundless. I am thankful that it reaches beyond our ability to experience in this life. Though I tend to focus on the here and now, times like this refocus me on the Ultimate Reality. Prayers, support, and warm thoughts to you and yours.